Before the Pacific - [Day 6, Risa, Morning]

[allmhadadh]

He half-slept, something between dream and reality; a restless doze, where he would stir himself awake just to make sure he was still breathing.  And then, confirmed, in the rain tapering to a sprinkle, then a mist, then the clear and clean and hazy scent left afterwards, he would drift back into that half-asleep state again. It wasn't that bad, really.  It hurt, but it wasn't that bad.  He knew he wasn't in any mortal danger from injury, just beaten.

He drifted there, in that place, breath shallow to avoid making the pain flare across his left side.  Counted himself lucky that all of the hurt was on the left, and he could lay on the right.  A matter of fact thought, like most of his waking thoughts.  His dozing thoughts were less settled; fragments and pieces and when he woke up to see the suns rising, he realized all over again that he was far more afraid of leaving this place than he was of any number of beatings.


It wasn't that he liked Risa.  He just wanted to have room to run.  He could not stand that sensation of being cornered and pinned; a good kicking had reminded him of why.  Here, he could go back to some quiet spot that was his own, and curl around his wounds.  There, there was no room to run.

He had chosen to go into Starfleet, and the restrictions placed on his time and movements both had not bothered him.  He had gone in fully prepared to sacrifice his freedom for his goals.  And when he got some freedom back, he took it and ran hard with it; ran to the edge of the Pacific itself, and then ran right into it, too.  A moment of impulse, of outward and open defiance.

And when he crawled out of the waves he'd been battling against, cold and soaked and facing a very long hike back to the Academy, he'd rested on his elbows in the sand and laughed.  Just laughed, hard, maybe a little unstable.  Laughed until he practically put himself in tears.  When he'd dragged himself back up, to go back, something in him felt better; like he'd figured something quiet out, that he had not known before.

Now he came back before the Pacific; a half-drifting dream where he didn't run past the edge of the world.  And now, he felt all over again all he'd really lost; in that restless, painful half-sleep, he could only draw the tattered old pieces around him that were left; that he was still breathing, and that he was still unbroken.

He woke up that time to low orange suns and staggered down to the water's edge, trying in vain to clean himself up a bit.  His face was pretty bad; he could feel it.  His head, too.  Most worrisome was that he felt shaky and dizzy; blood loss, probably, now not countered by adrenaline.  Not fatal, not even desperately painful.  Just worrisome.  He knew he couldn't climb back up again, though he also knew he wasn't going to die before...

He tried to clean himself up, then retreated back up to his spot, which was slowly being warmed by the suns.  He would miss this spot, and the pain he felt from that knowledge was far worse than his face.  Not because he liked Risa.  Just because he could understand this, living under a place where people walked and played and ate and talked above, removed some from it and therefore safe from it. 

He half-drifted again, trying to order chaotic thoughts.  He wondered why he had agreed to go.  Why he had ever allowed that other Scott to have that kind of power over him; that the idea of causing sorrow was enough to make him give up his running room.  He didn't even know the man, aside for just over a week; he didn't know how much of any of what was said was true.  He knew the other Scott believed it was true, but Scotty knew well that believing something didn't necessarily make it real.  And now, he was giving up his freedom again.

He just wasn't so sure it was his choice this time.

The suns were higher; still breathing, still unbroken.  He reached out gingerly and dragged his shell over, looking into the pinks and blues and purples and oranges that made it beautiful.  He tried to make sense of it all.  He didn't feel sorry for himself; it wouldn't change anything.  Just felt resigned, and tired.  To him, there was no certain future, no faith, no hope.  It wasn't a bad thing, really.  No more than getting a beating was a bad thing.  It was just the way things were; facts, immutable.

He sent a message to the other Scott with his PADD, not getting up to do it, just like he had signed his application for Command School.  And then, he went back to half-dreaming, half-waking.

Before the Pacific.

Comments

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk already had a few bags under his arms as he walked down along the streets of Risa's infamous shopping district, wanting this whole bit to be over but knowing he had just one very important stop left.

So it was a pretty big surprise when he saw Harold and... something was ticking at him, that the person he was with looked familiar.

And... why the fuck did they look beat to shit?!

"Oi!" Kirk called out, waving a ha--bag at them. "Harold!"

Re: Evening

[haroldlee.livejournal.com]

Harold spun on his heel. Bad idea. Every muscle in him protested.


Hoshit, the captain.

Captain Kirk was somewhat less intimidating with an arm full of shopping, but only somewhat.

"Yo," he called back, trying to sound casual.

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

Scotty stopped himself when Harold's name was called, and found the source fairly fast. He blinked once, then dropped his voice to Harold. "Who's that?"

Re: Evening

[haroldlee.livejournal.com]

"That, my friend," he drawled, resigned, "is the Captain of our adopted home."

Harold smoothed his clothes as best he could. Nothing to be done for the sand, though. "Here goes nothing."

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

Scotty blinked once more, then straightened up to near attention... good as one can with bruised ribs. He clasped his hands behind his back with a small wince, then looked at the... he was rather young, wasn't he? An appraising look, though not cold. Just curious.

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

They got the ass end of an ass whooping. Kirk thought, but put on a small grin.

He walked up to them, trying to figure out why the other looked familiar. He grinned to Harold, shifting in place. "Haven't gotten to see you since we ended up off the ship." He said easily, in a good mood

Re: Evening

[haroldlee.livejournal.com]

Well, what the hell should he say to that?

This was Hikaru's CO. Vacation or not, he couldn't fuck this up.


Heh. At least Kirk hadn't called him Sulu.

"Sorry," he said. It was all he could think of. "Um. How you been?" Nervously, he scratched his head-- bad idea. He winced.

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...evidently better then you?" Kirk offered with a sheepish grin, "Looks like you've been having an exciting stay."

He looked to Scotty and gave that charming Kirk smile, "And you are?"

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

"Cadet Montgomery Scott, sir." There was a pause then, and Scotty amended it. "Sorry. Former cadet. Captain Kirk, right?"

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Blink. Blinkblink. It took a second to remember who this was. The young man Scotty had had in his quarters...! "What do you mean 'former' cadet?" He asked, tilting his head. "And yes, but I'm off duty, so right now it's just Jim." Definitely, without a doubt, Kirk was flirting with him. At least Harold would be able to hear it.

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

His eyes widened a little bit at the mere idea of calling a Captain by their first name. The flirting went right over his head, too. His 'people might want me' receptors were all screwy, especially after his bit as a courier. "Former; I dinna pass Basic in this universe, sir."

Re: Evening

[haroldlee.livejournal.com]

Harold had heard. He plastered a smile on his face and forced his fists to unclench.

Oh, hey, that was an unexpected reaction. File that one away under what the hell seriously and no no no.

"What are you doing out here, Jim?" Harold asked, cheerfully trying on the new designation.

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Did you pass basic in your universe? Then you're still a cadet, Scotty." Pause, "Do you mind Scotty or do would you like something else?"

He looked to Harold and turned the full force of that sinful smile on the other. "Shopping before we leave... other then, evidently, getting your asses kicked, what about you two?"

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

"No, sir, I dinna mind." He turned a little red, though not because he picked up on the flirting. More because he was a bit chuffed that he got to have his nickname and that Kirk kinda sorta credited his rank despite universes. It was a little different when a captain did it. Even if he didn't quite believe it.

Re: Evening

[haroldlee.livejournal.com]

He looked to Scotty, because Scotty was turning red, and that was pretty fucking awesome. He cleared his throat, looking back at Kirk.

"Hey, man, we did some ass kicking of our own," he laughed, relaxing. "We were just going to find food. After that... open."

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"You know there's a party tonight, right?" Kirk tilted his head, "You should have gotten it on your comms?" Pause, "Well, at least you, Harold. Free drinks, free food..."

Re: Evening

[haroldlee.livejournal.com]

"Heh, sorry, been pretty out of it-- entirely possible I got it and don't remember."

He looked to Scotty, quirking his eyebrows. "Wanna go, man? We can keep the credits for useful shit this way, if nothing else."

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

Scotty looked pretty much instantly wary about the idea of attending the party. But he was a practical critter; free food was definitely a big draw.

After a brief moment where he bit his bottom lip pensively, he nodded. "Uh, aye. I suppose."

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Great!" Kirk was pleased at the idea. He thought about it, something coming to mind, "Scotty, Jim-- the other me, the older one?-- told me that you were thinking about joining up with us until you can go back with them?"

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

"In a manner o' speakin', sir. Yer Chief Engineer wanted me t' come along." And he was still not sure why, except some kind of conscience conflict. "On yer permission, o' course."

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I'd love to have you on board, long as you're willing to work for your supper." Kirk's voice was a light teasing, "Have you been on a ship like the Enterprise before? If you haven't..."

He sounded almost dreamy, like a man in love, "She's something else, like nothing you'll ever see again."

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

He rather thought so, that she'd be like nothing he'd see again, though perhaps not in the same way; still, he could understand the Captain loving his ship. "I wouldna dream o' livin' any other way. Than workin' fer my keep, I mean." And that was a truth. Scotty shook his head. "Nae yet, sir. Been aboard a Daedalus-class, that was about the closest; our Constitution was just recently launched when I... ended up here."

Re: Evening

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"In our universe." Kirk sounded sympathetic for a moment, but then the grin returned, "Well, until either we figure out a way to send everyone back or we decide its impossible... you're welcome on board as part of the crew."

He shifted his bags to one hand and offered out his hand to seal his offer.

Re: Evening

[allmhadadh.livejournal.com]

He took it, tipping his chin up slightly; a really formal, gentlemanly, knightish sort of look. Which was kind of funny given how utterly feral he could be on occasion. "Thank ye, sir."

Re: Evening

[haroldlee.livejournal.com]

Harold grinned a sort of half-smile at Scotty, geniunely pleased to have watched the exchange. He nodded to Kirk - Harold had something for the guy, but thought loading him down with something else while he had all those bags was probably a bad idea. He'd catch him another time.

"See you at the party, then, man."